|
Over the
weekend, I was channel checking. I briefly paused to view a discussion
regarding at-home mothers. One woman made the point that we should
be more valued because of the 'sacrifice' we make. She believed
that in choosing to run the home and care for the children, women
forsake their education and intellectual potential.
Now, in terms of finances, I can't argue her point. The pay for
being an at-home mother is paltry, at best. Wages are paid in the
form of an occasional 'thank you', a messy ketchup-covered kiss,
or a gap-toothed smile. All are warming to the heart, but not something
to include on a bank deposit slip.
By the same token, the choice to stay at home and raise children
lacks the feedback of a paying job. There are no yearly reviews,
no promotions, no incentives. One certainly hears about mistakes,
'Mama, you put MY socks in HIS dresser!!!!', but rarely is there
a concrete celebration of one's mothering strengths.
With this said, however, viewing at-home moms as sacrificial that
does not sit well with me. It perpetuates two disturbing stereotypes.
On the one hand, this implies that moms who work out of the home
are giving less totheir children. I really can't see any merit to
this belief. The only difference between an at-home and working-outside-the-home
mom is the location of their office. Either way, they carry the
workload of several people. Secondly, using the word 'sacrifice'
for at-home moms, perpetuates the notion that mothering and running
a house is brainless work. The stereotypical mom is a scatter-brained,
disorganized woman with no
intellectual stimulation or responsibilities in her life. The greatest
challenge faced by this poor woman is whether to make hot dogs or
macaroni and cheese for lunch.
The reality of at-home mothering, is far from brainless and lacking
in stimulation. At-home moms may not carry an MD, but I've yet to
meet a mom who doesn't know when her child's behavior/coloring/appetite/glands/etc
are not right. This job also requires the ability to multi-task
and schedule
with flexibility daunting to most Logistical Engineers. Show me
an at-home mom, and I'll show you a woman that can feed her family,
wash two loads of linens and get the kids to soccer practice within
the space of one hour. They possess financial know-how and creativity
rivaling Allen Greenspan. Watch an at-home mom critically peruse
the newspaper for coupons or compare prices between markets. Wall
Street longs for such business savvy.
I think the issue is not that at-home motherhood should be valued
because it is a sacrifice, all motherhood should be valued simply
because it is important. Staying at home does not mean a woman is
brain-dead. We nurture, educate, and nurse the next generation of
the human race. We run our home with the efficiency of any small
business. It may not be glamorous, but running a home and raising
children is a choice reflecting our values, not a sacrifice.
all the best,
Catie
Copyright 2002. The above article is reprinted with permission.
About
the Author: Catie Gosselin is founder/editor of WomanLinks.com.
She is a freelance writer, a homeschooling mom of two, and an avid fan
of laughter, cats and chocolate (not necessarily in that order).
|
