|
 Just
Kiss Me and Tell Me You Did the Laundry:
How to Negotiate Equal Roles for Husband and Wife in Parenting,
Career, and Home Life
by Karen Bouris
"When in doubt, connect with the heart - and my heart
told me that letting my husband into the lives of our children
was the
greatest gift I could give my kids, my husband and our marriage.
This seemingly simple act set in motion changes for our family
that were nothing short of revolutionary."
So says Karen Bouris in the introduction to her book Just
Kiss Me and Tell Me You Did the Laundry, a book
designed to help husbands and wives strike a balance between
careers, childcare and housekeeping
that leaves everyone feeling satisfied and fulfilled. It isn't
about splitting everything 50/50, but rather about parents coming
together to figure out ways to work, raise a family and care
for a home in such a way that no one feels resentful, overburdened
or left out. I think this book will particularly appeal to wives
and mothers who want to work outside the home, whether full-
or part-time, and Ms. Bouris talks great deal about such women
in her book. I think my only complaint about the book is that
she seems to believe that secretly, all full-time at-home mothers
would actually rather be out working. Aside from that, I think
the book offers many great conversation starters and things to
think about for partners who want to make a change in how they
spend their time and energy.
How to (from the back cover):
-
Negotiate the drudge work of daily household
chores and planning -
Find rewarding work and family balance - for
both parents Choose and manage the best child care arrangements Stop feeling guilty about taking time for yourself Reclaim the passion and emotional commitment in your love life
Just
Kiss Me is full of quizzes, checklists, conversation starters
and side bars from the author's husband - plenty of things
for couples to chew on and work with. The book covers
six key areas: intentional parenting and equality; strengthening
yourself; loving each other; managing work and money; raising
the children; and, taking care of home and hearth. Whether
you and your partner desire help in one, two or all six areas,
you're sure to find something in here that speaks to you and
your current situation.
From the afterword:
"Because of our conscious intention
to find a way to make equal parenting a priority, we made
decisions that have led us to a
new chapter in our lives. As I finish this book, I am working
a full-time position in a different town in a different state,
where
the pace of life is much slower. Although no longer working
at home, my commute is only 5 minutes - and after working
at home
for 5 years, I'm enjoying getting out of the house. Gill
is thriving in his role as primary parent, and is still able
to work 25 hours
or so a week from home. We're happy in our role reversals
- and glad to have a more balanced home and work life."
I will trust the author when she says things are now more balanced for
her and her family, as a role reversal seems to indicate only
the people performing the tasks have changed. Perhaps, what this
book is really about is helping couples talk about what each
person really wants to do with their time and then figuring out
ways
to make that happen. As for the things that no one wants to do
- well, that is where the negotiating comes in.
|
