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Eight Baby Steps To Knowing Your "Self" |
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Articles, How-To's and Interviews -
Spirit and Spa
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Written by Kimberly Fulcher
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Who are you? What do you stand for? What do you believe in? What
engages your passion? What brings tears of gratitude and joy to
your eyes? Do you know, or have you lost yourself? In my work
as a professional coach, I've helped many people rediscover
themselves. The first step on the road to rediscovery involves
spending time with you, which is why I liken the process to dating
yourself.
When you began dating your last partner or the person you share
your life with, didn't you move heaven and earth to make
time for them? When you were with them, didn't you go out
of your way to get to know them? What if you were to take a similar
approach to rediscovering yourself? Here are some "baby
steps" you can take to get reacquainted with yourself.
Journal
Writing your thoughts on paper can be profound. The process of
journaling can support you in learning about what you're
afraid of, what you're passionate about, and what you aspire
to.
Buy yourself a beautiful notebook, and a pen you enjoy writing
with. Find 20 quiet minutes in your day, and steal away to a comfortable
place in your home. Begin your process by writing as if you were
talking with yourself. Write about how you're feeling, what's
bothering or exciting you, or the day ahead of you, or answer
questions from books or personal development programs you've
been reading.
Remember that your journal can be messy and illegible. It's
for your eyes only, and doesn't need to be presentable.
Enjoy the process of establishing a connection with you through
the written word.
Meditate
Meditation is not about attaining a state of emptiness while sitting
in the lotus position. It's about observing yourself in
the present moment. Find 10 quiet moments in your day, and sit
comfortably. Your goal should be to "empty" yourself
of any anxiety or worry. Focus on your breath, and allow the thoughts
that enter your mind to be there. Acknowledge them, but donĚt
focus on understanding what they mean, or solving any problems.
Just allow yourself to be still.
Move
There are numerous studies documenting the physical and emotional
benefits of moving your body. Exercise can be a meditation in
and of itself. If you're the type of person who has a really
hard time slowing down, this may be a great way for you to begin
committing to time to be with yourself.
Walk
Walking is a moving mediation. It allows you to slow down, and
notice what's going on around you. If you usually move a
million miles per hour, walking can allow you to focus on being
fully present, while indulging in the movement you find so vital.
It can provide you with an opportunity to mull over something
that may be on your mind, or simply to notice the beauty and bounty
of what surrounds you.
Drive
Though not a common "vehicle" to self discovery, driving
can prove to be an interesting process, especially if it's
difficult to find a quiet place in your home. Fill your tape or
cd changer with your favorite music, and hit the road to an unknown
destination. See where your "self" leads you.
Authentic Outings
A day spent wandering boutiques, a stolen hour in a bookstore,
a mid-afternoon matinee, a journaling session in a coffee shop,
or an afternoon being pampered at your favorite spa. These are
authentic outings, and indulging in activities like these is similar
to dating yourself. This is where you take time to be with you,
with no purpose in mind other than sheer enjoyment.
Old Hobbies
What did you love to do when you were a small child? Did you scrapbook?
Did you take dance classes, or write short stories? The authenticity
of childhood interests cannot be denied. Revisit the things you
used to love to do as a kid. You will be amazed at the passion
within you, just waiting to be rediscovered.
New Interests
Investigate and research things you find intriguing. Do you have
a friend who spends her time in ways that you envy or admire?
Did you used to dream about being great at something? Did you
used to wish for your family to support you in the pursuit of
a special talent or interest? Give yourself the permission and
the support to explore it now. Who knows where this new path could
lead?
The approach you take is not important. The fact that you make
the time to reconnect with yourself is. Try a little of each approach,
and see what works for you. Have fun, and continually explore!
Article reprinted with permission.
This material is excerpted from Self Care for
SuperWomen, written by Kimberly Fulcher. Copyright 2003.
All rights reserved.
About the author: Kimberly Fulcher is a professional
coach, author and speaker, with twelve years of experience in human
development. Her professional experience includes the co-founding and
$ 38 million dollar sale of SkillsVillage.com, and her leadership of a
leading Silicon Valley consulting firm, where she grew revenues from
$3M to $25M in four short years. Kimberly sits on the board of
directors for The Silicon Valley Coach Federation, and actively
supports non-profit organizations that benefit underprivileged women
and primary education initiatives. Kimberly offers group and
individual coaching programs, speaks throughout The United States, and
will publish her first book in 2004. Kimberly can be reached via her
website at www.compasslifedesigns.com or by email at
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