8 Myths About Money: Excerpt from The Millionaire Maker, by Lorel Langemeier
I grew up on a farm in Nebraska. My family had always worked hard for their money, and as a result, I always equated working hard with making money, with no idea that my beliefs could not have been further from truth. As I educated myself on human behavior and financial strategies, I learned that it’s actually the people who make their money work hard for them, rather than the people who work hard for their money, who end up with more of it. Since creating my millionaire-making program, I’ve learned that I was not alone. There are many people who shared this same myth.
Much like our views about many things -- people, relationships, food, and health to name a few -- our beliefs came from our parents, our teachers, and other adults in our lives. And it goes back even further, beyond them, back to the circumstances through which they lived, or what they learned from their parents, what their parents learned from their parents, and so on. These beliefs are ingrained, and because they’re usually subconscious, the cycles are continuous -- until someone breaks them. You can break the cycle. Beliefs about money are many and varied, but in my research, I’ve discovered that there are a few that predominate.
Money is scarce. Several of us have parents or grandparents who lived
through the Great Depression, an era that rooted an entire generation
in a scarcity mindset. These people passed onto their children the idea
that money was in short supply and that when it did surface, spending
had to be limited and saving was imperative. If any of the following
ever crossed your mind—“A penny saved is a penny earned,” “Don’t dip
into savings,” or “We can’t afford it” -- then you have this
perspective and rainy days loom ominously. Money doesn’t grow on trees.
These threats create a fearful relationship with money.
Money is evil, dirty, or bad. Several of us have parents or
grandparents who believe that the road to bad places is lined with
green. They’ve only ever seen the drawbacks of the rat race, the
downside of the money chase, and the audacity and indulgence of those
with too much money. Some even believe that wealthy people are bad
people. Novels and films often highlight the idea that it’s the crooked
ones who make the money. The meek shall inherit the earth. Such
prophecies create a hands-off relationship with money.
Money comes monthly. The most common way to make a living is to be
employed, either with a company or as a skilled professional, with a
weekly wage or an annual salary. Historically, this provided the safe,
sure thing required by heads of households. Yet, that level of risk was
usually balanced with an equal level of reward -- low and low. For
most, even those who do very well, working for a company or as a
skilled professional is a constrained opportunity. Except for the
outrageous exceptions, the average CEO of the average company making
six figures a year will still experience only a small increase in
salary during his or her lifetime. Slow and steady wins the race. Such
fables create a cautious relationship to money.
Money is not for me. Some people feel that they don’t deserve to be
wealthy or that there is only so much of the millionaire pie to go
around. Creating wealth and financial freedom is available to everyone.
It is our right to be wealthy, and my hope is that people take their
space and know they deserve it. By making money, you are not taking it
from someone else; this isn’t Bonnie and Clyde Go to the Bank. By
making money, you create a greater capacity to contribute, and it’s
your duty to do this. Better them than me. Such adages create a
defeated relationship to money.
Money is a man thing. There was a time that men made and managed the
household money. That time was not so long ago, and some of you may
have grown up with such conditioning. Though there are gender
tendencies, for example, men tend to carry more money in their pocket
than women and are more likely to invest than women, the reasons behind
this are not genetic; they are realities falsely fabricated from years
of conditioning. Women and men need to understand that money knows no
gender. One of my programs that really resonates with up and coming
wealth builders is “Wealth Diva: A Man Is Not a Plan.” This is a
must-do seminar for every man and woman, and the daughters and sons
they love. Let him bring home the bacon. Such perceptions create an
apathetic relationship to money.
Money is good medicine. For some people, retail therapy goes a long
way; there’s no difficulty a new blouse can’t cure. At the moment, we
live in a culture of consumerism, and many of us use money to fill the
unsatisfying holes in our lives. Some people grew up with a sense of
entitlement about money, assuming their parents or a trust fund would
always pay for everything, and in the process, they became careless
about what they had. This is a vicious and unproductive cycle. The new
car gets old, the closet fills up with clothes, and the toys pile up in
the playroom. This is notto say there aren’t wonderful things to buy
and spend our money on; after all, money should be fun. But as with
overeating, too much spending on the wrong things can get any of us
feeling sluggish and sad. Shop till you drop. Such bombarding messages
create a disrespectful or nonchalant relationship to money.
Money is always a menace. For too many of us, money was always a
problem. Bills were a hassle, keeping up with the Joneses was
exhausting, entrepreneurs were considered nuts, and one’s station in
life was, well, stationary. And getting rich would be worse. Money can
be such a burden, not to mention all that paperwork and responsibility.
These views of money create a perspective that money is actually a
problem, not a solution. It’s hard enough just to survive, let alone
thrive. Such pessimism creates a negative relationship to money.
Money talk is taboo. Many of us have been brought up to believe that
conversations about money are in bad taste. Money and financial
success, and failures, are considered personal subjects that shouldn’t
be discussed and certainly shouldn’t be taught. Few of us asked our
parents how much money they made, and even now, there are people who
don’t know their spouse’s salaries. The results have unintended
consequences and have created a world where very few people are having
real conversations about money and finances, the very conversations
they need to learn and succeed. These things are not discussed in
polite society, dear. Such a scolding creates an ignorant relationship
to money.
In each of these examples, it’s clear that unless your parents made a
conscious choice to think and act differently, they conditioned you to
have the same mindset as them. If you make a decision to break this
cycle, you will have the opportunity to teach your children to have
more productive beliefs about, and a more profitable relationship
to,money. As you come to understand the beliefs you hold, you will work
to change them. Through the action steps in this process, and with the
help of mentors and respected friends, you will change your behavior.
By sharing your desire for new beliefs and asking your mentors and
respected friends to help you spot the subconscious limitations you may
be putting on yourself, you will teach your brain to follow your
behavior. Begin now by restating your beliefs. For example, if you’ve
discovered that you hold any of the above examples as beliefs, you will
1. Change “money is scarce” to “money is abundant” and support a courageous relationship to money.
2. Change “money is evil, dirty, or bad” to “money is good and acceptable” and create a hands-on relationship to money.
3. Change “money comes monthly” to “money comes from a range of sources” and create an opportunistic relationship to money.
4. Change “money is not for me” to “who better than me for money to come to” and create an empowered relationship to money.
5. Change “money is a man thing” to “I can and will know about and
understand money,” and create a thoughtful relationship to money.
6. Change “money is good medicine” to “money is a tool to help make my
life better” and create a respectful and concerned relationship to
money.
7. Change “money is a menace” to “money is a solution” and create a positive relationship to money.
8. Change “money talk is taboo” to “money talk is vital” and create a knowledgeable relationship to money.
You can see how much better it is to be courageous, hands-on,
opportunistic, empowered, thoughtful, respectful and concerned,
positive, and knowledgeable than to be fearful, hands-off, cautious,
defeated, apathetic, disrespectful and nonchalant, negative, and
ignorant. The choice is yours and it looks like you’re well on your
way. You’ve already taken a huge step by deciding to actually take the
first step. By making the decision to start right now, you have created
the opportunity to raise your financial consciousness and change your
life.
Copyright © 2006 Loral Langmeier from the book The Millionaire Maker McGraw-Hill; December 2005;$24.95US/$00.00CAN; 0071466150
Loral Langemeier is a master coach, financial strategist, and team-made
multimillionaire who reaches thousands of individuals each year. She is
the founder of Live Out Loud, a coaching and seminar company that
teaches her trademarked program Wealth Cycles.
For more information, please visit www.liveoutloud.com .
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