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Is Your Relationship Worth Fighting For? |
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Articles, How-To's and Interviews -
Spirit and Spa
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Written by Lori Grudzien
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Sometimes when a relationship has gone sour, our efforts are used trying to repair it, or "get it back", while the best thing to do might be to look at things in a different perspective. Is the relationship worth fighting for or is it truly a lost cause. There are a few things you can think about while trying to sort things through.
1.) Is your partner still in love or still interested in pursuing the relationship. Sometimes when we lose a love we tend to dwell on what used to be, not on what the relationship is currently about. Of course it was good in the beginning, otherwise you wouldn’t have ended up together. But that stage of the relationship is not always an accurate measure. Its best to look at what is currently happening and evaluate how or why the situation is the way it is at this moment. Sometimes we fall head over heals with someone, then if things go bad, the memories of good times dominate what is really happening at the current time. If both of you are willing to work on your problems you have a good shot at working things out. If not, you need to ask yourself "Are you in love with the memory of the way things used to be, or are you truly happy at this moment".
2.) Do you realize if you do breakup the hurt will go away. There may
be a lot of pain, resentment and jealousy right now, but trust me, if
you are willing to move forward, it will pass. Ask yourself "Do I
really want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me?" The
answer should be "No". If you’re up for the challenge, you will find
love again. You deserve to be with someone who will love you back.
3.) Imagine what a mutually loving relationship with someone should
feel like. Is it what you have now? If not, maybe your current partner
isn’t capable of having that with you for whatever reason. Do you
really want to stay and pass up the chance to find true love?
4.) Staying in a relationship for reasons other than love isn’t good
for anyone. Some people, knowingly or unknowingly, stay in a
relationship for the wrong reasons, such as having a roof over their
heads, their bills are paid, they are afraid of being alone or a
variety of other reasons. If this is you, you must realize you are a
capable individual. Co-dependant relationships will not work. If you
really want to lead a fulfilling life, take the steps to become
self-sufficient, it can be a very empowering, incredible feeling.
5.) Are you assuming what your partner is or is not feeling? Have you
communicated with your partner or have they communicated with you.
Sometimes our "inner voices" tell us things that are not true. You may
believe that because someone is angry with you, they don’t want to
pursue the relationship any longer. On the opposite end of the
spectrum, you may believe someone is sending you signals that they do
want to be with you or that certain gestures have hidden meaning. In
other words, we believe what we want to, not the reality of the
situation. Open communication is the only way to resolve these issues
and is a necessary part of a loving relationship.
6.) Are you willing to stay in a hurtful or abusive relationship until
your partner breaks things off? Some people are so afraid of losing
someone they will stay as long as possible no matter what the
situation, or they simply are not strong enough to break up themselves.
Once you have seriously considered the above, you should have a pretty
good idea where your relationship is headed. You need to be strong for
yourself. Life does not end when a relationship does. If you are not
happy and you are quite sure things are not going to work out, its time
to move forward.
Just remember a couple of things. You deserve to be happy, no one
person has the power to make or take your happiness. Only you control
your happiness. If you need support seek out friends, family members or
a professional. There are also plenty of self-help guides out there to
guide you along the way, which ever path you choose.
This Article is property of LifeChoicesWeb.Com. You may re-print this
article for your e-zine or website along with this attached credit
information and link. Copyright 2005
Lori Grudzien is the Managing Editor of the website LifeChoicesWeb.Com
a website dedicated to “Living a full life, by learning to love
yourself”. Topics include Health, Aging, Divorce, Relationships,
Career, Stress, Anxiety, Self-Esteem & Self Help.
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