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Make the Leap Book Review |
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Book Reviews -
Women's Health and Psychology
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Written by Jennifer Thompson
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Make the Leap: A Practical Guide to Breaking the Patterns that Hold You Back By Farrell Silverberg, Ph. D.
We all have them: habits in how we think or what we do that get in the way of the things we want, such as success at work, meaningful relationships, or a healthy body. Some of us know about our patterns and are working on them. Others know of them but feel stuck when it comes to making changes. Still others feel there is generally something wrong but cannot begin to put their finger on it. As Dr. Silverberg says:
"Are areas in your life less than you believe they should be? Do you keep hitting a glass ceiling at work? Are your relationships not quite right? Maybe there is untapped potential inside of you. Maybe your hidden patterns are holding you back."
Make the Leap is all about identifying and dealing with "patterns". What are patterns?
"A pattern is a series of active steps that we follow the same way, in
the same order, all the time. If we follow a certain pattern enough
times, it becomes automatic. It gets to a point where we can carry out
the series of steps without even thinking about them."
We all have
patterns; they happen unintentionally. When they start to affect our
lives in unwanted ways, then we need tools to deal with them. Make the
Leap is about giving us those tools.
Dr. Silverberg writes about the SUBGAP Method, and four of the six
parts of his book are devoted to explaining the method. SUBGAP stands
for Seeing (part 2), Understanding (part 3), Breaking (part 4), and
Guarding Against Patterns (part 5). Part 1 is entitled The Pattern
Problem and Solution, and part 6 is Patterned and Unpatterned Life.
As I read Make the Leap, it occurred to me that Dr. Silverberg's method
could probably be applied to just about any problem one might have, if
those problems were indeed rooted in patterns. In the book he provides
many anecdotal stories of clients he has worked with, and some of his
own stories as well, that illustrate the process of identifying and
dealing with patterns. Reading his book, I felt inspired, thinking
that none of us has to live the life we have always lived if we no
longer want that life. We can choose to create new patterns of thought
and action in our lives. Just because we have always stuffed down our
feelings with food, always felt like a child being scolded when our
partner criticizes us, or always gone on the defensive at work at the
first sign of not being appreciated does not mean we are stuck with
those behaviors for the rest of our lives. We have the ability to
identify these patterns, and we can break them if we want to.
Dr. Silverberg's book is clear, practical and empowering. He helps us
grasp what is going on that leads to the actions we want to change. He
helps us see our patterns, understand them, break them and then work to
make sure we keep them at bay. His method is not about finding the
quick fix or the magic bullet; it is work that we have to keep at day
after day. But one gets the feeling, reading this book, that it is
doable, and that the results will indeed be worth it. So many problems
we face in our lives can be traced to thought and action patterns in
our lives that just aren't working for us anymore. Make the Leap
offers ideas for breaking those patterns once and for all. |