As I move through life and speak with people around me, I'm aware that
many of us feel something is lacking in our lives, and yet we are
uncertain what that is. Our lives have become full of tasks to do,
responsibilities to shoulder, promises to keep. And a cacophony of
information is thrown at us! It's hard to get clear on our own
priorities. It's harder still to hear our own inner voice amidst the
turmoil.
Most of us want to have a clear sense
of what matters most to us, yet searching for purpose doesn't seem like
an easy task, does it? It would be great if we could just wake up one
morning and have an 'ah ah!' moment and be set for life. But I think
knowing who we are and what we want is actually a long-term process. I
think too, that our purposes - naturally - morph with us over time.
A while ago I watched a program on personal finance, and the gentleman
said that if your goal is to save or invest, you should always pay
yourself first. I began to think that perhaps one of the ways we can
invest in our life purpose is to pay ourselves first - in time. Studies
have shown that those who make time for themselves have more peace and
serenity in their lives and a better quality of living.
In order to get clear on your purpose, you must be willing to find a
way spend time alone on an ongoing basis. That means you need to
schedule time for yourself and make keeping that commitment a priority
in your life. Perhaps that should be the first thing you do every day.
You could go for a walk, jog, meditate, garden, write in your journal,
or just sit and breathe - whatever works.
Time alone gives you perspective. It gives you a regular place to work
through the issues in your life and make decisions. It gives you space
and quiet and allows your inner voice to be heard. It brings clarity to
your visioning and goal-setting.
In order to achieve the goal of more time for yourself, you may need to
be ruthless in dealing with some of the things that are taking up your
time now. You may have to sacrifice a little income to gain time.
Perhaps choose to live a simpler life, downsize your home and rid
yourself of unneeded material things. Giving away the television might
be enough to free you! Or maybe it's time to delegate or outsource some
responsibilities - hire a maid, an assistant, or someone else to help
with routine tasks.
Clarifying what really matters to you will set you free to live life to
its fullest potential. Knowing what you stand for allows you to
proactively seek the people, situations and things that support your
core values. If you know your priorities, you can assess every demand
on your time against them.
This year, give yourself the gift of time by yourself, with yourself,
doing things that you enjoy. Take a long term view of your life to make
sure that how you are spending your days now is in line with your
overall vision and a true reflection of what you really want. Make the
choice to pay yourself first. It will pay dividends both in the
present, and in the future.
Here is a simple exercise to get you started on the path to living a life focused on your top priorities.
On a blank piece of paper, write down everything you most want for
yourself from your life - the things you say are most important to you.
Some examples would be close family relationships, health and
well-being, meaningful work, long term friendships, supportive
community, creative pursuits, travel and adventure, financial freedom,
spiritual life, beautiful home environment, recreation and fun,
community service, or personal growth. Add your own examples to this
list.
Choose five of the most significant of these items, and list them in
order of what's most important to you. Then, next to each item on the
right hand side, put a number on a scale of zero to five that
represents the priority you have given this item in the past three
months, with zero being no attention at all, and five being full
attention.
Your list might look like this:
1. Family - 2
2. Meaningful work - 4
3. Health and well-being - 5
4. Financial freedom - 0
5. Travel and adventure - 0
Note: Your list might have no #5's and some 0's on the right if you have not been giving attention to what truly matters to you.
Does your list indicate you're not spending you time doing what you say is most important to you?
Are you spending time accomplishing other people's priorities, but not your own?
Memorize your list of priorities, and use it as a guideline for every demand that is made on your time.
Don't let anything come between you and what truly matters most to you!
Recommended Resources
Here are some suggested books if you want to read more about getting clear on your priorities and life purpose:
i. The Path« by Laurie Beth Jones
ii. The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People« by Stephen Covey
iii. Callings« by Gregg Levoy
This
article is written by Jan Marie Dore, Professional Certified Life
Coach, Speaker and Writer. She has been a practitioner and, more
recently, a teacher of yoga and meditation for more than 20 years. She
incorporates the practices of wellness, centering, breath, mindfulness,
creative alertness, self reflection, cultivating awareness of the now,
and creative "time out" into her coaching and speaking philosophy. She
aspires to show others ways to access their deeper selves, find the
deeper underlying reality of who they really are, and design their
lives from the inside out. For free resources and programs on work-life
balance and living your best life, visit Jan's website at http://www.janmariedore.com.
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Copyright © 2005 Jan Marie Dore. All Rights Reserved.
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