Growing a Girl

 
The book is terrific and has hundreds of suggestions of ways to help strengthen your daughter's sense of herself and encourage her precious individuality. Barbara Mackoff suggests that we begin by looking at our own assumptions of girls and boys, and helps illustrate the many ways we treat them differently. Even those of us who are dedicated to treating children without gender stereotypes may be surprised at our own biases. Recently moving into a new house, my boyfriend Frank asked if he should keep the box of rockets he made as a little boy. I said sure, that maybe a future son would be interested in them. I did what most of us do in assuming that only boys will be interested in science related toys and games. But I didn't even realize that I do this too until I began reading Growing A Girl. Who's to say that our future daughter won't be fascinated by dad's rocket collection?!

Another thing I learned, is to stop being so utterly paranoid about the toys I buy for children. Mackoff suggests that the key is to watch what the individual child likes to do and encourage it. Provide varied "boy" and "girl" toys and then let your child direct her own play. Unfortunately this may mean Barbie too! I try to shy away from buying girls typical girls toys, but then I remember how much I loved dolls growing up--and still do. Provided with a variety of toys, your daughter or son will have the freedom to pursue all her interests.

Growing A Girl also has a terrific chapter called Tell The Truth About Beauty to help you help your daughter dissect what is real from what is illusion in the images we see. And to encourage her to see her unique beauty in the face of it all.