Read Susan's replies to questions and comments submitted by members and guests of DivaTribe.  (To learn more about Susan and the Lost Soul Companion Project, please visit Susan's Guest Page)

Tricia ~ I really enjoyed and identified with what you have written (just read the excerpts). You have captured how I feel and have felt all of my life. Even as a young child (5 years old) I never felt like I fit in with other children.

Now, as an adult who still feels that she is trying to find her way, I still don't fit in despite really good acting (people don't suspect a thing!). I feel like it is too late for me, though. I am 34, married with a 2 year old son and a baby on the way. I work in an uncreative field forever trying to find creative approaches to work.

How does someone like me start to find my creative self? What are the first steps? Is it too late? I just don't even know where to begin - it is like I have become a drone and am unhappy yet too darned scared to do anything but keep on droning....

What three things can I do today to start figuring it out?? Thanks!

Susan ~ Tricia, I don't think it is EVER too late to find your creative self! I once heard from a woman who didn't think she had a creative bone in her whole body, and here are some of the things I told her:

Did you ever wonder what your creative bone would look like if you did have one in your body? That will be our first step. Imagine its presence. It's small at first--so small that your doctor won't even notice it on the X-ray. Maybe it's somewhere near the base of your skull or situated next to your clavicle, and it's bright purple even though all of the rest of your bones are just, you know, bone-colored. Truth is, you do have that creative bone in your body, and, as you will see, it is as strong and resilient as any child's.

Of course some people are more predisposed to it than others, but creativity is a powerful tool that we are never too young or too old to develop. Mostly, creativity means letting your mind play. You'll have to be willing to unlearn some of the things you "know" and ask lots and lots of questions. For instance, does dessert always have to come after dinner? Are we really too old to color with crayons? Or stay up all night or learn to skydive? Remember when we were four, five, six years old? Most of uswere unstoppable askers of questions. Some of them were downright absurd, but if you can dispense with the usual restrictions and give your mind permission to wander, you can be creative.

Be sure to check out one of my favorite authors, Roger von Oech. In his book A Whack on the Side of the Head: How You Can Be More Creative, he poses some great, silly questions. For instance, "If we call oranges 'oranges,' why don't we call bananas 'yellows' or apples 'reds'?" and "What happens to your lap when you stand up?" Von Oech's A Kick in the Seat of the Pants and Expect the Unexpected (Or You Won't Find It) will interest you, too.

Now, this next part may be a bit uncomfortable for you--especially since you've probably been telling yourself for years that you have no imagination. I want you to train your brain to do something you thought you never could do. Taking up a musical instrument is very good, but affording lessons and equipment can be a problem. Instead, be open to the idea of learning to draw. Pencils and paper are cheap, and Betty Edwards's book Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain is all you need to build your confidence and create some brand new neuropathways, too. Sounds crazy? That's OK. No one needs to know what you're up to, and you'll never have to show your drawings to anyone. If you stick with it, you will learn to see things--literally and figuratively--quite differently.

Remember when you learned to ride a bike? The moment when everything clicked and you figured it out? That's what we're after. You absolutely can develop your creativity and imagination if you patiently apply yourself and have fun along the way.

Finally, you mentioned that you are too scared to do much but keep on droning. That's interesting. What are you afraid of? What's the worst thing that could happen? The last step in your creative-self-finding process would be to make a list of all of the terrible possibilities and consider each carefully. Do those worries really deserve all the power you've given them? I bet they don't! Great gobs of good luck to you!

Tina 64 ~ I really liked your hothouse flower descriptions - I definitely am the sort that is sometimes afraid to grow or can't get motivated. I feel like I have so much to offer inside but can't seem to get it out. Any words of advice? Thanks.

Susan ~ You might want to start small. Since I don't have much to go on, I'll have to be pretty general. Why not take a class in something that interests you? Pottery, ceramics, welding, voice lessons? You'll be with other beginners who are, perhaps, just as timid as you are. And (if you're anything like I am) if you have to pay for the class, you'll be much more motivated to attend regularly and do the work.

Local community centers, colleges, and art co-operatives are all good places to start!

KathrynG ~ Susan, I enjoyed reading your excerpts and look forward to reading the rest of your book. I really related when you mentioned that you suffered from depression and I often felt my own struggles of depression were brought on because I never felt like I fully belonged with the rest of the world's hustle and bustle.

My question: How would you go about focusing yourself or creative energy in one direction? I often leave things half finished because I'm jumping onto the next project and then feel dejected when I never have completed anything Thank you!

Susan ~ Focusing my creative energy in one direction? That's easy! I pretend that I only have one year left to live then I make a list of my creative goals and notice which ones suddenly seem extra important. You might want to try this. And ask yourself some important questions along the way: Is making piles of money crucial for you? Or does leaving some lasting impression or body of work behind seem more important? Once you're able to narrow your scope and commit yourself fully, you may examine all of your potential projects and see which ones fit with your sharper focus and which ones don't. Eventually you'll have to pick one, put your blinders on, and work at it until it is finished.

It has been said that the key to achievement is distinguishing between motion and action. At the moment, it sounds like you are always bustling and feeling busy, but, as such, you might be using your many projects as distractions from one another. Do you secretly gain something by never finishing anything? Maybe. For one, you don't have to find out if any of your ventures will ultimately succeed or fail. For another, you never have to prioritize or develop a strong sense of self-discipline.

"Just do it" works adequately for some athletes but not nearly so well for artists. I had hoped I could spare you Nike's well-worn phrase, but I must admit that this slightly modified version applies: Just do it anyway. The difference between accomplished people and those merely treading water? The accomplished people willed themselves to finish their creative projects despite their worst fears and so much chatter in their own heads. You'll just have to do this too.

Rose ~ How did you get up the courage to go ahead and write this book? And how did you make the time to do it, while holding down a job and making sure the bills were paid? I would love to be a writer but don't know how to get it done while doing everything else in my life that seems to call for my attention - and loudly!

Susan ~ Well, let's see... When I realized that there was a very real need for The Lost Soul Companion but that it didn't exist, I decided that I had a moral obligation to complete the work. The next year or so was just a matter of will I guess.

There were plenty of times when I just wanted to take a nap--or just give up altogether--but then I thought about John Kennedy Toole's sad story (see excerpt for details) and how I hoped to prevent that sort of tragedy from now on.

I worked 40 hours a week at a local newspaper, and the rest of the time I spent researching and writing the book. I had to be at work by 8 a.m. and I always brought my lunch and ate at my desk so that I could get home by 4 p.m., have a quick dinner, take a shower, and start writing. I usually worked until midnight or one in the morning, and then I'd get up and do it all over again the next day--for a year. It was exhausting, and I probably shortened my lifespan living that way, but I'd say it was worth it.

When you live like that, there's no time to see movies or watch TV or dine out or go shopping at the mall, so there aren't lots of expenses. (I didn't have much in the way of bills because I am a single person with no dependents and no debt.) I put $600 each month away in a mutual fund during the year that I wrote the book and researched self-publishing. When it was time to release the book, I had over $7,000 to play with.

As for courage, I was much too busy to be concerned about that. The funny thing is, when I was ready to release my book, I made myself sick with worry for about the first month that it was out. I thought, "Oh, my, Susan... What have you done? The stuff you wrote about is so personal, and now people are actually going to read it." Only then did it occur to me that thousands of people were about to see me naked, so to speak. Fortunately, they were all very charitable.

I have learned that there will always be things calling for our attention, but if we really value a particular goal or outcome, we can rearrange our priorities to some extent and make time for that which is important.

LuckyLady ~ I just read your excerpt about John Kennedy Toole. How sad. I agree that you really can't depend on the world to give you what you need, that you have to learn to rely on yourself and then use the resources available to you as best you can. I can see myself being one of those people who would decide that they weren't "good enough" because some publisher turned them down. I don't know how many rejections I could take, or how many requests for revisions before I started to feel like my workwasn't even mine anymore.

How would you suggest someone get started in the world of self-publishing short stories/fiction? Thanks!

Susan ~ Gearing up to self-publish isn't difficult, but it will require some real determination. Before I get to that, though, I want to make sure that you don't rule out traditional publishing channels first. Have you submitted your short stories and fiction to literary magazines, journals, and contests? Check out the 2002 Writers' Market series for lots of these opportunities. By winning awards and landing publication spots, you'll gain confidence-and, perhaps, some literary esteem.

Now, what if you would like to see a collection of your short stories and fiction released in book form by a traditional publisher? Rather than submit your short stories and fiction all over and wait for a flurry of rejection letters, a better plan would be to aim for a few acceptances instead. You can increase the likelihood of your success by learning from the mistakes of others. No matter what kind of writer you are, spamming--indiscriminately sending samples/manuscripts to scores of potential publishers--is a waste of your time and money. Even established publishing houses themselves face stiff competition as, for example, both "Kirkus Reviews" and "Publishers Weekly" receive about 200 new books for review consideration every day. Without careful targeting, most materials end up at the bottom of the slush pile-but yours don't necessarily have to.

Instead of going through the front door along with everyone else, why not slip through the side? The side door for the writer is the representation of a reputable literary agent. Although your local reference librarian can help you search for representation, I think there is an even better way to find just the right agent. Start by thinking carefully about what kind of person might want to represent you and your creative projects. Is your work similar to that of any other established writers? If so, target only their agents in lieu of spamming. Good research on your part nearly always increases your odds of getting in via the side door.

That said, if you'd prefer the maneuverability (and increased profit margin!) of self-publishing, start with a trip to the library. The Complete Guide to Self-Publishing by Tom and Marilyn Ross was my self-publishing bible. There is one other book that I wish I had known about at the time and that is The Shortest Distance Between You and a Published Book by Susan Page. The Internet also offers lots of information on self-publishing, but, for beginning self-publishers, I still recommend a trip to the local library or your favorite bookstore. Here's why: there are many companies preying on the would-be self-publishers lack of experience. Their websites offer some good information, but many are simply well-disguised sales pitches for their goods and services. That's not to say that all companies offering self-publisher support services are bad. Rather, if you know what's involved in publishing your own book, you'll be able to differentiate between necessary expenses and what I like to call Flim-Flam.

Before you invest lots of your own time and money on self-publishing, make sure that your manuscript is ready. Good editing is critical. Finally, just because you write and self-publish your book doesn't mean that it will sell. The only thing more challenging than developing the discipline to research, write, and produce a good book is developing the stamina to market and distribute it. On-line booksellers such as Amazon.com have greatly eased the self-publisher's burden. Self-publishers have near-equal footing with traditional publishers with Amazon's advantage program. Also, known as the"largest non-profit trade association representing independent publishers of books, audio, video and CDs," Publishers Marketing Association is a good place to start especially when it comes to finding a distributor. Remember, you can have the best book in the whole world, but if you don't work at marketing and distribution, nothing will happen. Great gobs of good luck to you!!!

Nancy ~ I really liked your excerpt about creativity and poverty - you have some good ideas in there and make it seem like it's actually possible to live the life of an "artist". I currently teach elementary school full-time and would love to be able to step back from it and pursue what I really love, which is painting. But the fear of giving up what I've grown used to and having to do without almost paralyzes me. Do you have any words of advice or encouragement? Thanks!
p.s. My husband works full-time too, but makes less than me.

Susan ~ I was a full-time artist once. Back then I lived in a two-room apartment with high ceilings and faulty electrical wiring. My light bulbs were forever sputtering out and the continual need to replenish them was both a nuisance and a financial hardship. I got so desperate that I took to carrying just one light bulb around with me from room to room, screwing it into its socket as needed.

Since you are an educator, the following may be of particular interest to you. Nearly 40 years ago, former Brown University President Henry M. Wriston said, "A guidance counselor who has made a fetish of security, or who has unwittingly surrendered his thinking to economic determinism, may steer a youth away from his dream of becoming a poet, an artist, a musician, or any other of thousands of things, because it offers no security, it does not pay well, there are no vacancies, it has no 'future.' Among all the tragic consequences of depression and war, the suppression of personal self-expression through one's life work is among the most poignant."

Now I would never try to discourage anyone with an interest in the arts, but I do often warn that increasing numbers of professional artists have to hold day jobs. According to the National Endowment for the Arts, between 1970 and 1990 alone, the numbers of artists supplementing their arts income with more traditional employment increased by 127 percent. All difficulties aside, I think that the life of an artist is both honorable and worthwhile, and there are ways to make the lifestyle workable. You mention a fear of giving up what you've grown used to. Depending on just what sorts of things you've grown used to--the Lamborghini, the caviar (ha!)--you may have a problem. You shouldn't have to do without the very basics such as a place to live, food, medicine, and some clothing. Consider everything else--cable television, eating out much of the time, and buying new shoes every Tuesday--a luxury. (I used to include air conditioning in the "luxury" category, but, as I grow older in the oppressive Midwestern heat, I find it has become more of a necessity.)

One author who really helped me think differently about the value of my money and my time is Amy Dacyczyn. Check out her Tightwad Gazette series for maximum dollar-stretching strategies. Rather than quit your day job cold turkey, why not ease into the painting life? How do you spend your weekends? Your vacations? As a teacher, do you get summers off? Can you use some of this time to paint? Or snatch an hour or two every day before or after work? You will, of course, be exhausted and wonder how you could ever make a go of it, but I have found that we make time for the things that are most important to us. Try to ease into your painting career, and become accustomed to the sacrifices that may be necessary a little at a time rather than all at once.

Finally, I know how difficult it can be to create a large body of work for gallery shows or art fairs while holding down a full-time, day job. To help level the playing field for artists with smaller bodies of work, I am about to launch the Open Market--a well-lit, virtual gallery for original art/music buyers and sellers to "meet" and do business--as a new part of The Lost Soul Companion Project website. The Open Market will be a free service, and featured "art for sale" categories will include: books/comix/zines, book arts, clothing & textiles, general/misc, jewelry, musical instruments, music/CDs, original 2D art, limited edition prints, pottery/ceramics, photography, and sculpture. Nancy, you and other artists are more than welcome to exhibit (and perhaps sell!) up to five of your original paintings at a time. Good luck to you!

Jennifer B. ~ I'm looking forward to reading your book. Your excerpts made me laugh and cry (in all the right places), but mostly they made me feel like a kindred spirit.

I really liked the page on what to instead of killing yourself. I have a book I write down memories that make me happy and other reasons for living. Some are joyful and others touching...make me cry but in a good way. Once I listed the people who would miss me and maybe it wasn't a long list, but it helped. I used to think of my bouts of depression as dark holes, but now I've taken to calling them visits from the big black dog. I have seen that they are times when I need to really protect myself (like a big black dog). Since it seems these bouts will be with me from time to time it's helped that I think of them in different terms. It's helped me be kinder to myself (something I found hard to do when the dark days hit before).

I've been lucky to do Hospice work. It reminds me on a frequent basis to live fully.
I'm glad you didn't listen to the person who asked you "who do you think you are?"

Susan ~ Jennifer, Thanks so much for your kind words...
I am sending you my good vibes and well wishes!
Yours,
Susan