At 5:30 Sunday morning one of my oldest and dearest friends was murdered by her husband who then killed himself, while 3 of their 4 children slept.

A newspaper delivery woman found them both dead in their front yard. It appears that she was trying to get away from him when he shot her twice with a shotgun.

She was the strongest, most amazing, sweet person I have ever known. She had a really hard life, and she was like my compass. Anytime I started to throw a pity party, I would think of her and her strength, and tell myself "You thinks this is bad, think of the things  Natalie can handle."

I can't stop crying, I can't wrap my head around the fact that he murdered her. I have known them both since grade school, he has always been really calm, quiet, and laid back. I can't understand why he did this. Why would he orphan their 4 children?

I can't accept that she is gone. I feel so empty. I have cried so much my eyes are swollen almost shut, and I feel like a zombie.

I keep thinking of her children and what this will do to them. The oldest daughter is 15 - how will she cope with this? Is she going to spend the rest of her life blaming herself, thinking things would be different if she had not slept over at a friends house that night?

Their son is 12 and autistic - how will he ever be able to process this? His Mom was his life. She spent the last 10 years working to advance Autism research and knowledge, and trying to help him live a "normal" life. Now he will likely end up in an institution.

Then there are the 10 year old twin daughters - how are they going to handle knowing their Father murdered their Mother, then killed himself?

Please pray for those beautiful children, and the rest of the family.

How awful and tragic...I am so sorry. 

Oh honey, I am so so sorry.  I will keep her children in my thoughts and hope they can find some healing and stability after such a tragedy.   

Jenn my heart is hurting for everyone.  I had no idea this happened.  Mara emailed me the news story and I couldn't believe it.  Although I did not know either one of them well I will always remember them.  What you wrote about Natalie really touched my heart - she sounds like a beautiful soul and the world will be a lesser place without her....
please let me know if there is anything I can do.

The last few days have been the saddest I could ever imagine. Her family is unbelievably honorable, and held the visitation and services for both of them. I can't even imagine how hard that was for them, but I know they did it for the Grandchildren.

The visitation was like a very sad high school reunion. Old friends who have lost touch, reunited over tragedy. It got so crowded there were people standing in line around the block. I just hope that she saw that, and she knows how many people's lives she touched.

The Funeral service was amazing. The Pastor was their next door neighbor and Church Pastor, so he knew them both well. He addressed the shock and grief and disbelief we all feel. Having known them personally, his Eulogy was delivered with true emotion, at times he broke down and cried. He talked about forgiveness, which is something I am struggling with. As angry as I am, he was also a lifelong friend. As hard as it is I have to accept this and to mourn them both.

I was speaking with our friend, her sister in Law, and we both agree that true friends are hard to come by, and we all need to be more proactive in keeping in touch. We all get so busy with our kids, husbands, homes, work, etc. At the end of the day we all need real friends who uplift us.

Nat would have been 34 next month. We are all going to get together that weekend, to share stories, look at old pictures, and remember all of the good times.