I love my mom to death, but she drives me nuts with her constant fear, and her agoraphobic worries about everything that could happen, to the point of obsession. She has not worked outside of the home in over 30 years, her youngest child is 28, her oldest 39, and I really do think she has become obsessive compulsive and slightly agoraphobic.

She cannot deal with the fact that both of my boys are very athletic, and play team-sports where they could get hurt. Even worse, for her, is the fact that DS and I actually encourage them to try.

If it was up to her, my boys would live in hyper-allergic, protective, bubbles, where they could never get hurt, and they could never taste life. She thinks, and constantly finds subtle ways to remind me, that we are terribly irresponsible parents because we allow our boys to try new things, have fun and play sports.

She gets so carried away, that last year, my Dad banned her from attending DS's LAX games, and then in the fall, banned her from attending any of little DS's Football games.

Well, of course, today she broke the rules, and came to DS's LAX game, and witnessed DS take a full body check (he really held his own!) and then later, a slash check to the helmet (DS was fine, but the other kid sat in the penalty box for 3 min penalty).

After the game she made this big production of checking his eyes (because, surely, he, the coach, 2 refs, and both his parents, are all idiots, and only his Grandmother could tell he truly had a concussion) and embarrassed him in front of his team-mates. Then, later she called and freaked out that we had not taken him to the ER for the non-existent "concussion". 

Every-time she sees a cut on his arm she flips out, because "it has to be flesh eating Merca!" Because, showering only once a day is surely going to leave him susceptible to flesh eating bacteria taking over his body.

I am raising a teenage BOY - not a Lilly!

I see the damage her psychotic, over protective, "mothering" did to my brother, and I vowed I would never do that to my son's.

Boys will be boys, and I would rather my boys use their testosterone, and get their aggressions out through sports vs. getting in fights, drinking, doing drugs, or knocking up their high school girlfriends!

I can see now how much her fears held me and my brother back as kids, and it continues today, now that we are all adults.

A few years ago, I took a grueling 3 week motorcycle safety course (which I wouldn't have needed if she had let me ride a dirt bike as a kid, like all the other kids had)  and I passed with flying colors, and got my MC License.

For me, it was a big accomplishment, I know guys who have been riding motorcycles for years and still cant pass the safety test! All she had to say was "Well, you better update your will, and make sure that after you get killed driving your motorcycle, I get your kids."

WTF!! I guess we should all be agoraphobics,  too afraid to do anything, and live in F-ing bubbles until we die? 

Tonight, DS, who usually tells me I am being too hard on her actually said "it was only a game, she needs to get over it!"

I think maybe my Dad had the right idea. Now, how do I tell my Mom that she is not allowed to come to anymore of DS's games?

OMG! I can't even believe it... Today, my 8 year old DS was playing "It Tag" at recess. "It" was chasing him, DS was running one direction, while looking the other, and slammed his head right in to the Monkey Bars!

The school nurse kept an eye on him for awhile, put ice on the huge knot on his head, and then finally called me. I picked him up at school, and took him to the ER. He has a Concussion! I just can't wait to tell my Mom this! She is going to freak out and insist that I take him back to the ER for a second opinion and another CT scan!

I don't know what I was thinking... I made the mistake of telling my Mom that we bought the neighbors ATV. She totally freaked out: "OMG! Are you insane?!?! Those are Sooooooo dangerous! You better never let the boys near it!"

Yeah, sure, and I will make sure to dust off the hyper-allergenic bubbles they live in too. I am really starting to understand why my brother is the way he is. He is a grown man now, but is afraid of everything. He will buy a plane ticket, but then never actually get on the plane...

I can see the influence of her anxiety has had on me too, and why I was never afraid to take risks, because I wanted to much to be different.

Jenn, your mom sounds like a handful - which I totally relate to!    I'm sorry she's driving you nuts.  There's some research that talks about what happens to kids who weren't allowed to make their own mistakes:  everything from actually falling down and scraping their knees to dealing with consequences for their choices at school instead of being protected by their parents.  It's pretty interesting stuff and it makes the case for allowing kids to get hurt and get back up.