Ok so a little background since I'm new and this is that first time I'm talking about it.

I'm 29, and moved 200 miles to chicago almost 8 months ago after I lost my job and was out of work for 4months, to live with my long distance dbf N of 1yr. (we met on the internet) I had never lived with a dbf and so didn't quite know what to expect. We had some problems (ie: he was emotionaly cheating with a girl he met on line, his spending my money like it was his, his always getting mad and saying I could leave his apartment, stuff like that) I was trying to work thru them but couldn't take much more. So I found my own apartment and moved out of his apartment. We are still together, but we only see each other on weekends now, since N works 3rd shift. N comes Sat morning when he gets off work till monday morning when I leave for work, so I see lots of him still and we are still working on being together.

My Problem is....Now that I live by mself and don't have him around all the time I find myself bored and lonely. Now I have lived by myself for the last 5yrs so it's not the living alone that I have a problem with it is the move to the new city! I realized that I don't know how to make friends. I am very shy and have always made friends thru work, school or family. Now I am out of school, all of my family is 200 miles away, and there is only 1 girl at work to talk to and she is only 22, and only thinks about shoes and clothing and getting her work permit (she is polish here on a student visa). Our taste/intrests are vastly different.

So how do I make real life friends (cause I have lots of online friends) How do I make myself a life I am happy with? How do I become happy with being me?

Sorry for the long babble, I'm just having a hard time right now!

maybe if you checked activities on line, like conferences or stuff that interest you? then you'd know that the people there have the same interests and it would be easier to find a common ground to start a converstation....or, you might find someone chatty and outgoing that will initiate the conversation!!

Thank you for the tips.... I'm trying to see what I can do. I'm thinking about getting a second job, becuase money is very tight, now that I am on my own in a big city. I haven't really been able to find any free things to do that interesset me, but I am looking in to voleentering with "paws" a cat rescue program. I just have to "keep on keepen on" as my grandmother use to say, till I feel more comfortable. 

so, Jacksylee, how are things going?? 

That's a tough one dear.  I have moved a lot in my life, and I'm not bad at making friends...BUT everytime I move, I find it difficult to make friends and I have that period of loneliness.  It's trying to find friends that are great to you as your best friends in a really short period of time (just a few months).  It's hard to make that comparison. 

Regardless, try things like meetup.com or to join clubs or activities around where you live.  That's the best way to do it!  Meet people that are into the same things you are, and life will be great!  Keep us posted!

 Although it's tough to start a new life, it's also a chance for you to be who you really want to be - not what other people (your loved ones) think you should be.

Frequent a bookstore and attend special events that they have (booksignings, demos, book clubs), Volunteer at a library, join a community volunteer group, volunteer at a hospital .....  Get a community newsletter (usually free in entry-ways of stores & restaurants) or a local newspaper and really LOOK for opportunities to be around people.  Local newspapers usually have some kind of local community forum featuring local activities. 

Don't be afraid to go to things alone and let people see what a great person you are.  Let your inner diva shine!