Congratulations!!  My SO and I have a blended family with 6 kids between us (him 4, me 2).  My first step experience was sheer h*ll because we tried to be \"one big happy family\".  It just didn\'t work.  My current situation is so much better because we don\'t get involved with parenting each other\'s kids.  

My suggestion is to talk more with him about it.  He may or may not even want your help in that area.  Let him be the parent for the most part and only offer when you think he needs it.

abbiegrrl wrote:


I think you get more respect this way too.  I don\'t ever do the parenting of his kids unless I\'m watching them for him while he runs out.

TiMoBe wrote:


I have one of those and one fast approaching the teen years.  LOL

My skids (stepkids) are 4, 5, 11 and 13.



Try just relaxing for a bit until you feel comfortable.  I wouldn\'t try to push yourself in their lives and just try to be a friend above all else.



I think it\'s good you and your fiance are talking.  I have some major issues with my own kids and I don\'t want nor expect my SO to get involved.  He doesn\'t say anything to the kids and usually leaves the room during heated \"discussions\" between me and the boys.  Later, SO and I will talk about how I feel and sometimes he gives me feedback... but mostly he just listens as I try to work through this parenting thing.

And the same goes with his kids.  I don\'t get involved even when I want to.  Two of his sons (ages 5 & 11) get on my last nerve at times, but I bite my tongue and go about my day.  I usually just ignore the behavior at the moment and only interact with them when they aren\'t being so annoying.

It takes time so just take it slow.  Remember... they really didn\'t have any choice in you being in their life.  You are their as dad\'s wife and dad really needs to be the only disciplinarian with them... IMHO.  Most people differ and don\'t agree to my view of step families.

Best wishes... I look forward to hearing more about your big day!!