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Single and Confused
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November 21, 2008, 01:57:06 AM
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Lara
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« on: April 05, 2006, 05:55:00 AM »

ugh the single life... lol
I\'m having a hard time with this concept but I also wanted to say that I think relationships are an addition and a privilege and not a necessity.  What I mean is that the most important thing is that we\'re comfortable with ourselves and any loving relationship should be an enhancement to this and not the reason why we\'re comfortable.  Like not being alone because of just fear of being alone.  Does that make sense?  I have to remind myself of this all the time because truth be told I still really miss my ex and I still feel like I\'m in this limbo state of \'is there hope for us\' or \'ok, let\'s pick up and move on\'.  I think I miss him so much because he was so much more than just a boyfriend, he was a friend and our experiences together were so wonderful and we seemed, for the most part, to be on the same path of interests and what we wanted out of life.  Maybe we were too similar... I don\'t know.

Anyway, I\'m an obsessive person so of course, even a month later, I have to continue hashing out all the confusion in my head.  I\'m really OK by myself.  I enjoy being by myself but I also enjoy being with him in addition to being with myself.  blah blah.  (this is where I start talking in circles and driving myself crazy).  The main reason why I\'m writing this is because on Monday night I saw him and we talked for a good deal of time and I was right back where I started just wanting to reach out and say what are we doing?  We belong together.  But who am I to say who belongs with who.  I have this romantic idealist notion that he\'s \'the one\' and that there is only \'just one\' (insert matrix music) but realistically I know that\'s not true - he\'s the only one of HIM but not the only one that I could spend the rest of my life with, KWIM?  

Anyway(Part II), I did the dumb thing of all dumb things this morning and called him.  I got his voice mail and damned to the caller IDs of the world because I HAD to leave a message and of course I had NO REASON to call him, I couldn\'t even think of one tiny insignificant reason to say why I called him.  I thought pretty quickly on the spot too - \'thought I saw you, or thought I saw your car, or thought I might have seen your sock in the road\' but nothing came to mind so I just blabbered.  ugh.  Wink

I wanted to see what the Diva\'s had to say on dating and ex\'s and this crazy life of being back out in the single world.
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miclason
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« Reply #1 on: April 05, 2006, 07:06:22 PM »

I know the feeling!  rolleyes  I\'ve even deleted Ale\'s father\'s email address from my address book in an effort not to email him...of course, it doesn\'t help that his email is his initials and birthdate! rolleyes  rolleyes  ...the last time I contacted him was  mid Feb (Ale wanted to talk to him, so we called him!  dry )...had to call his cell phone...he said his landline was being changed and he\'d let us know when the new number was installed...guess it takes 1.5 months to get a new landline in Honduras!!  rolleyes  rolleyes  rolleyes  He\'s always like this, and I hate it!!!...

((sigh)) some days I think to myself: mejor sola que mal acompaniada (better to be alone than in bad company), but, some others I just want to be cuddled and told everything will be ok!  :o  rolleyes  Sad

It IS very confusing...

Other than that, I don\'t get dates...come to think of it, I don\'t even get guys to flirt with me! blink  Sad  :huh:  unsure  Some days, I feel like there must be something awfully wrong with me!!...others I\'m a true Diva and just think it\'s their loss for being so cowardly, they feel threatened by a strong, independent WOMAN.  queen  tongue

Oh, well, good to hear I\'m not the only bewildered one!
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Lara
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« Reply #2 on: April 06, 2006, 07:17:11 AM »

Quote
I\'m a true Diva and just think it\'s their loss for being so cowardly, they feel threatened by a strong, independent WOMAN

Amen!  big grin  
It\'s a strange world sometimes... I agree with the cuddling thing.  I get very needy sometimes where I just want to turn to someone and say take care of me, take all the stress off me... fix me, etc.  And like you other times I\'m proud to be doing things on my own.
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