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we have been having probs with my 15 yr old dd she has been getting suspended for causing drama at school and being a brat, haning out with the wrong group ect ect anyways after this last suspension she had a fit cause we told her she couldnt use the net and phone and she was grounded and she said that was ridiculous and meant it! she is spoiled and clueless and we have been having probs for years....this last time she threatened to live with her dad and stepmom she resides with my dh and i and 3 other kids.We called her bluff and told her to pack her stuff and me and her dad had an understanding the groundings were to stick at his house anyways i found out he didnt, and let her do anything! i was not impressed and once again the brat is getting away with it! so i told her to come home to get her back here since being there was doing nothing and she just came and asked about her grounding now when i told her it was the same she got mad and said she shouldve stayed at her dads and next time when she does something we dont agree with, she will be going to live there permanently! she will not be doing that but she is at an uncontrollable point as to literally leaving my home! she informed us that she will be doing this and we cant stop her because of her age she has rights. when we told her he has no custodial rights her (we werent married nor is he on any legal docs)we would be the ones making that decision, she said no she will and she meant it! we are at our wits end! her dad is useless and wont raise her properly and now we called her bluff and she went there and saw it wasnt so bad, although that wouldve been a matter of time, i dont know what to do anymore! talking to him will do nothing he just amuses me so what now?

wow! sorry you are going through this.
My initial reaction was: so, let her try! (but, obviously, you've done that!)

What she is doing right now is very typical of children of divorced parents: she is "shopping around" for the "best" environment (meaning, to her, the most permissive one!)

I know you probably know that, and it doesn't offer much help.

Perhaps, I'd sit down with her and explain that she really isn't entitled to anything except food, shelter and education....all other things are privileges....ask her what privileges she'd like to retain and, tell her HOW to earn them (if she wants internet, then X has to happen, for example)

Teenagers are so difficult! ...my DD is only 8 and, believe me, I'm afraid of the teenage years! (I got front row seats to my niece's and nephew's teenage years ::shudder::)

 :hug: to you, and good luck!

we have done the whole sit down talk with her she really does not care! as a matter of fact she was suppose to be hom 2 hrs ago and is no where to be found and her cell is off so mr cell phone is going bye bye tonight i am sure she will want to go to her dads which i wont let her and i just spoke to him and i will tell him to tell her when she calls crying that he thinks its a good idea to stay here then she will have no choice! cant wait for the drama!

who pays for the cellphone?
If you pay for it, it's not hers, it's yours, and I assume you bought it so you could stay in contact....if she's ignoring your calls, the cellphone is useless (to you), so, take it away! -- yes, I know, she'll have a fit!

it is her phone she paid with it from her job...i never have to pay the bill-never will! lol but its gone and i just spoke with her dad and when she does the inevitable threat to live with him he is going to tell her nope sorry not this time, we had a talk too and he said he realized while she was there she was just using him for the things she couldnt have here....ahhhhh teens

well she showed up and said she stayed after school to catch up on work not sure what to believe i highly doubt it but her phone ran out of minutes and when she got home she called her dad and it was sooooo nice for a change to hear him freak out on her and her use her typical drama to try to get out of it! its going to be a hard few years.